Topic sentence: There are three things that I like to do . The first is travelling. The second is dancing. And the last is eating.
Introduction paragraph:
Every one has their own characteristics. So do I . Just for me, There are three things that I like to do . The first is travelling. The second is dancing. And the last is eating.
Body:
Paragraph 1:
Major support 1 : Traveling is the best thing that I like to do
Minor support 1: Travel is not a place to travel and it is not non-see people
Minor support 2: What is the meaning of travel?
Major support 2 : Dancing is the second thing that I like to do.Dance can make me relaxing.
Major support 3 : Eating is the third thing that I like to do.
Concluding paragraph:
Above all , These are three things that I like to do. I hope that three hobbies can continue. Let my life more exciting.
The things that I like to do .
Every one has their own characteristics. So do I . Just for me, There are three things that I like to do . The first is travelling. The second is dancing. And the last is eating.
Traveling is the best thing that I like to do .Some one say that there must be at least two impluses. In their lives, once for the love, once said to go on a trip! Travel is not a place to travel and it is not non-see people. On the road, everything becomes simple, pure and natural. But some of people who like traveling just feel happy. They are not to think about that what the meaning of that.What is the meaning of travel? Actually, one of the meanings is to find happiness. Putting aside all the trouble to enjoy themselves. Usually makes people happy. There is another important meaning that is to learn something. To go out for a visit can enlarge people's vision. People can learn a lot from it. Therefore, sometimes we will find that some people will be different after they return home from travel. It is the reason that we need to learn the true meaning of travel.
Dancing is the second thing that I like to do. Dance can make me relaxing. Every time, when I practice dance. It will bring me joy. In addition, It will let my body feel relaxed. When I dance on the stage, there is always a sense of pride around me. People appreciate my dancing when they applaud for me, the joy of my heart is difficult to say. While dancing for others can bring happy to them.
Eating is the third thing that I like to do. Nowadays, more and more people like to eat. When you feel sad just eat desert. Forget your weight.just to eat. Eating will let you forget the sad, let you re-find the confidence and happiness.Eat also can increase the feelings between family members. As we all known, every festival, we all eat together with our family. Especially the Spring festival in China.
Above all , These are three things that I like to do. I hope that three hobbies can continue. Let my life more exciting.
Hi Lacy, a great easy you habe written down. And I have some suggestion for you.
ReplyDelete1. You traveling, dancing and eating, that just the feelings, it is better you give us some example, where did you go, what kind of dance you like or you good at, and also what kind of food you like, can you cook it ?
2. Eating is a hobby for you ? In my opinion , it is better you change the last paragraph " hobbies " into " things you like to do" .
Thanks.
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ReplyDeleteHi Lucy.Very nice hobby, the article is good. But the conclusion is not very clear, I think it's too complicated. Finally @Shuning o. Shuning zhao she's lucy, not lacy.
ReplyDeleteHi Lucy!
ReplyDeleteYour essay structured well . Better than before ^^
But in concluding sentence
Maybe you can change "These are three things that I like to do." To another sentence because its the same with the introduction :D .
Good job !
ReplyDeleteHi lucy, nice post you've written there and you really did a great job. Some suggestions for you are I think "every one" shoul be "everyone". Secondly, I thing it's better for you to change "some one" into "some say that there must be.....". Thirdly, I think what you meant is "people appreciate my dancing when they give me applause". All in all, I like your paragraph and the main idea or your supporting sentences are so clear enough to understand. Good job and keep it up :)
Hello, Lucy.. Your life is very interesting .Your essay ha s a well- structure, and the main topic and subtopic are very clearly.
ReplyDeleteFor your article ,I have a suggestion ,you just underline the topic sentence ,I think if you underline the conclude sentence will better.
Thank you.
Hello lucy nice post! I just noticed that you love dance. You should show us your skill in class later ok? hahaha.
ReplyDeleteYour paragraph is structured well but i think there are some grammar errors in the essay for example:
"Actually, one of the meanings is to find happiness" should be "Actually, one of the meaning(without s or you can change the word into 'them') is to find happiness"
and also:
"Dance can make me relaxing" should be "Dancing/Dance can makes me relax".
That's all from me Goodluck Lucy!
Hi Lucy, overall it's good writing, but I feel a bit confused with the word choice that you have and please pay attention with punctuation.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteTopic sentence: There are three things that I like to do . The first is travelling. The second is dancing. And the last is eating.
Introduction paragraph:
Every one has their own characteristics. So do I . Just for me, There are three things that I like to do . The first is travelling. The second is dancing. And the last is eating.
Body:
Paragraph 1:
Major support 1 : Traveling is the best thing that I like to do
Minor support 1: Travel is not a place to travel and it is not non-see people
Minor support 2: What is the meaning of travel?
Major support 2 : Dancing is the second thing that I like to do.Dance can make me relaxing.
Major support 3 : Eating is the third thing that I like to do.
Concluding paragraph:
Above all , These are three things that I like to do. I hope that three hobbies can continue. Let my life more exciting.
The things that I like to do .
Everyone has their own characteristics. So do I . Just for me, There are three things that I like to do . The first is travelling. The second is dancing. And the last is eating.
Traveling is the best thing that I like to do .Some one say that there must be at least two impluses. In their lives, once for the love, once said to go on a trip! Travel is not a place to travel and it is not non-see people. On the road, everything becomes simple, pure and natural. But some of people who like traveling just feel happy. They are not to think about that what the meaning of that.What is the meaning of travel? Actually, one of the meanings is to find happiness. Putting aside all the trouble to enjoy themselves. Usually makes people happy. There is another important meaning that is to learn something. To go out for a visit can enlarge people's vision. People can learn a lot from it. Therefore, sometimes we will find that some people will be different after they return home from travel. It is the reason that we need to learn the true meaning of travel.
Dancing is the second thing that I like to do. Dance can make me relaxing. Every time, when I practice dance. It will bring me joy. In addition, It will let my body feel relaxed. When I dance on the stage, there is always a sense of pride around me. People appreciate my dancing when they applaud for me, the joy of my heart is difficult to say. While dancing for others can bring happy to them.
Eating is the third thing that I like to do. Nowadays, more and more people like to eat. When you feel sad just eat desert. Forget your weight.just to eat. Eating will let you forget the sad, let you re-find the confidence and happiness.Eat also can increase the feelings between family members. As we all known, every festival, we all eat together with our family. Especially the Spring festival in China.
Above all , There are three things that I like to do. I hope that three hobbies can continue. Let my life more exciting.